A Discussion On Feminist Blogs

Betsy Woodruff blogged an open letter to the Feminist Movement that has my head and heart reeling.

She asks some really good questions and here are my thoughts:

My first thought about the open letter was that the message is too easy to disregard because most feminists can say, “well my belief system is more complicated then that.” She has not captured the reality of feminism’s diversity. Yet, parts moved me. A few comments echoed. Although I don’t think that these issues are mutually exclusive – I can write about, act out for both the developed and developing world issues. However when the majority of self-labeled “feminist” blog entries (mine included) have more to do with developed world problems then we may be misusing some of our political capital.

On the Feminist Movement as an audience: Betsy, I do not know who your audience is.

I rely heavily on bell hooks as gateway to feminist thought with ideas like this:

We resist hegemonic dominance of feminist thought by insisting that it is a theory in the making, that we [feminists] must necessarily criticize, question, re-examine, and explore new possibilities.

-bell hooks 1984

Betsy writes:

You also complain a lot about American Apparel, and I don’t totally get it. After all, if you’re such a fan of complete sexual liberation, shouldn’t you be happy that college-aged women feel liberated enough to pose in unitard-thongs?

To speak of the Feminism Movement as a single entity (and then call out contradictions) makes me uneasy. We are not all the same. Not all feminists support pornography. Those who would attack American Apparel would probably place themselves in that anti-porn category. Both controversies have to do with the objectification of the female body and it seems unlikely that that extreme of internal contradiction would exist in a person. A Sex-Positive Feminist will say yes to both controversies – no contradiction still.

I think I felt moved to write this response because I feel privileged by both whiteness and my leisurely exploration of feminist thought in college to help insist as hooks says that you ought not to cage feminist thought. She is always being rebirthed.

Your issue with the Feminist Movement (though that grouping is problematic to me still ) does strike some kind of a chord for me.

So here’s my beef with you. Regardless of the legitimacy of the battles you’ve chosen, they all seem to pale in comparison to many of the issues that seriously threaten our gender today.

Unfortunately, you’ve also ignored many “third world feminists” who write about the issues you are asking for though their more radical politics and judgments of the system would likely make you unhappy. The Third Wave of feminism introduced a wrench into the overly simplistic, white, middle class understanding of the gender war. These authors and bloggers may not call themselves feminists first because they are focused on a multiplicity of oppressed identities (gender, race, sexual orientation, class) Gloria Anzaldua, Lauryn Hill, Cherrie Moraga, bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Trinh T. Minh-ha, and more to explore. Maria Amir. Mainstream women like Sheryl WuDunn (with her husband Nicolas Kristoff wrote the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide) are writing about the oppression women face around the globe and make cases for how we ought to respond. Ms. Magazine blog also hosts authors who focus on the oppression that face women in the developing world.

While the discussions may not be happening as often as you would like, where you are looking for them; they are happening. You should seek them out. Up the readership. Share the links.

I think that one of the beautiful things about feminism is that it tends to encourage personal politics. “How does patriarchy influence me and what can I do to change that?” Feminists can look to either their vote, career, family, writing focus and/or purchasing decisions as points of power where each individual can weigh their values and act. Perhaps this is the root of your frustration. You ask if the topics facing women of color are “too hard” for developed world women to take on and I ask you to be more understanding. There is little controversy in Genital Mutilation Is Bad and Don’t Throw Acid in Her Face blog posts. The audience largely agrees. Who reading an argument against clitoris mutilation is suddenly going to decide not to enact that cultural violence upon their daughter? The basic information is already out there about the matter so those looking can find it. Your average feminist blogger will likely have no expertise on the issue – how could those discussions be furthered? (below I have an alternative to Western Feminists discussing these issues) Also, I think that those seriously fighting these battles are not writing leisurely about it in blogs. Issues of that severity are being written about by lobbyists, academics, human rights watchdogs, and leaders from those areas who can speak to the cultural identity as an insider. (We should be reading these.) Still, I do sympathize with your critique because Western feminists certainly aren’t powerless (more below).

Do consider though that as popular Western bloggers judge their sphere of influence to be their cultural neighbors they write less often about the spheres (Asia, Africa and the Middle East) they feel are beyond their experience and influence. (Linda Alcoff may argue that these women best spend their time listening to the voices of those from especially oppressed areas but should be especially cautious about crusading for that cause because of how disempowering it can be to speak for others.) My neighbor and I disagree on the degree of harm or benefit Lady Gaga has on feminism and thus I will invest my time in developing an argument tailored for that neighbor. American feminists may feel especially removed from issues like genital mutilation because we do not feel the presence of North African immigrants and trust that the US has legislation to protect daughters within our borders (although we do not protect our sons from mutilation at birth).

I would like to note that Spain has done a splendid job attending to the safety of North African girls in Spain by training police officers about the procedure and actively working to inform communities and families of girls believed to be at risk of the criminal nature of the procedure and the terrible harm that it causes. Fighting ideas with ideas on the ground. Spain has seen huge success with its initiative.

In defense of the popular feminist blogger – may she/he always work at persuading those within her/his sphere. These authors are attacking a systematic oppression that at its worst disciplines through rape and genital mutilation and at its least encourages heels. Still, war is waged against attitudes (as persuasively as can be done). The attitude is dangerous because it is silent, ingrained and no one is safe from its influence. Every child can identify the stereotypes and cannot help but act upon/discipline themselves into/against them: Defining us. Seemingly harmless prejudices become warrants for harsh action (women are too genteel for politics thus no vote, women are better equipped to raise children thus no promotion, women want to seem pure so they say no thus I’ll push harder for sex, she’s pretty and that’s why she has the job). To resist this attitude at all levels is valuable.

A good friend and my sister’s ex made an interesting case to me awhile ago. He’s a brilliant young man but does not have a blog of his own because he believes that his many layers of privilege require that he serve as an avid listener – an addict to the perspectives of oppressed groups. He seeks out those writers so that he can better understand his personal interaction with the system that harms those at the bottom. From there he can make changes.

Perhaps this is the framing we should consider as white, developed world feminists. We benefit from privilege that crushes others and thus have a responsibility to understand more and more how that works. We must listen. We must read. And when we write we ought to focus a bit more on our interactions with class, race and sexual orientation privilege/oppression. Outlining the kinds of cases where acid is thrown at girls is probably less useful than a discussion of how to solve for it and other problems that face women – the products we purchase that may support modern day slavery or the US immigration policies towards trafficked peoples. One is descriptive where description already exists and the other is (hopefully) a more detailed approach to solve for these instances. But let not our pen drop from the issues that still move us.

In agreement with your critique, dear Betsy  – I was the least effective woman alive for the first few months after I realized feminism mattered. A Junior in college, I threw myself into countless huffs and ill-conceived arguments about exclusion/inclusion in language and chivalrous (my reading of the word was: evil) manners. While those battles are valuable I was the least persuasive feminist evar. Betsy, I welcome your words and criticism. If feminists all the Western world over are not persuasive to you then please tell us why. Because you are right. We have “considerable rhetorical skills.” Goddess, help us to use those skills strategically and honestly. Strategically so that our world progresses and honest so that we progress as individuals.

Chess-oaching, Crazpeories and Miss-Commune-ication

Chess-oaching

The Ultimate Chess Game. Gah!

Last night, I was struck by an analogy. Since I got the call about coaching upstate, I have been chewing on the situation that this Worlds debate team is in. It is very different from what I come from. A competitive situation. What is the best way to balance between a large, well established Policy team and a small, infantile Worlds team? Funding and coaching are both finite. Most of all, I worry about the attitudes that the existent imbalance has potentially bred. Certainly some of the Worlds debaters perceive that they have been slighted. This is the problem I’ve been mulling over. So far… mugwump.

Clearly, there are numerous ways to coach. Choosing the best one for a team depends on the specific needs of the members and the situation of the group (duh). Considering what I know (dear lord, there’s so much that I don’t!) I should be able to decipher the appropriate attitude. Play out in my mind how this could work and what that would look like. This fictitious situation, that made-up scene, posturing here and there in the future I can imagine. It’s like a chess game. By the time this thought hit me, my head was on the pillow and I was hoping that sleep would come soon to mollify all of the active questions in my head… even if only for the night. Fail! I hate chess. Mostly because I’m really bad at it in a family that’s largely gifted at such strategy games. Took me awhile to fall asleep.

I woke up unmollified. A Harry Potter scale chess game was probably featured in a dream or two. Additionally, I woke up at six in the morning with no reason to. SO… I picked up a new book that Steve gave me (in a batch of a bunch which I am excited about). I should have continued reading the book I started last night (The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros) but I felt ambitious. Now I feel confused. I read the first third of The Spirit of Terrorism by Baudrillard and am entirely lost.

Crazy People with Theories = Crazpeories

The man, the myth, the... what is he talking about?

Oh dear Jaime, who on Earth is this man and what in Hell is he talking about?

I don’t understand what a terroristic situational transfer is. He writes pretty but it seems like smoke and mirrors thinking. He is characterizing 9-11 as something unfamiliar to me and the American power as nothing human. All humans as nothing human. Are there persons in his world? Are there hearts and consciences? Can they decide not to imagine the same kind of destruction terrorists wrought? Not to secretly want it? Not to openly want it?

The part I like the best/am confused the most by so far:

“…what other way is there but a terroristic situational transfer? It was the system itself which created the objective conditions for this brutal retaliation. By seizing all the cards for itself, it forced the Other to change the rules. And the new rules are fierce ones, because the stakes are fierce. … This is terror against terror – there is no longer any ideology behind it…”

The parts I left out between are the parts that detail (I think) what the symbolism of the attacks did and how the system reacted in much the same (?).I’ll work chew on the rest of it after the festivities of graduation. A coffee date is sure to result. Bueno!

Mis-commune-ication in the family

The yellow one smiles. He doesn't even know.

The rest of my thoughts concern the family that is visiting my sister and me in New York for my graduation this Sunday. My parents and my paternal grandmother are loving but different from me. When we showed our parents our tiny apartment my sister was comforted that I was listening to a cursing rap song (Thanks, Korey!). It set a tone, she explained, that this is our lifestyle in our own home and, though it’s different, we would like it if you accepted us in it. After dinner, I talked up Em’s song Renegade to my dad last night (or tried to). What an uphill battle! And it’s really not worth it. Alana and I know that they will never understand the worlds we talk about, the ones we are fascinated by. The problem probably goes both ways. They will continue to voice the same opinions we’ve heard all this time:

The cursing means I don’t listen to it.

We set examples in the Church for young people and have to be careful.

I have nothing in common with that person, those people and/or that question you’re asking.

And we will each voice our own.

But something will change after this weekend. After today even! Today I will tour mom and dad around campus and reveal the physical world which housed/s the symbolic and spiritual world that transformed me. I will relay memories and excitement. Through the rain, my smile will persist because that building and this bench they are so much more than I can ever explain to you, Mom and Dad! This teacher you are meeting now, he asked me this question and opened that window. Don’t ask me about that bush or that wall because there is still residual memories there from the Love I had and gave up and it still hurts. Enjoy this cup of coffee instead and soak in the atmosphere that stimulated me. Know that the most exciting part of campus will not be the bookstore even though the St. John’s Dad Sweater looks great on you. This tour will not be about the school… for me. It will be an introductory course to your daughter.
And this is what saddens me most. The summers I spent in Hillsboro were frustrating but I thought that if only you could be in my world then you would understand. Today, you will see it but you will not feel it. There are limitations to my communication. I can’t transfer what I want to into your brains. I hope that you learn a little bit more today but I am prepared for the rift to be frustrating. We are permanently in different worlds. I don’t understand why that makes me so sad but it does.

Of the Formulaic

In reading for a response essay, I caught myself falling into the young writer’s trap. We survive a culture of formulas. From the point-an’-click to the 7 habits of highly effective people. From Covergirl advice on how to get the sexiest effect to the Scientific Method applied to cooking. Oh but shoot me if I seem to you to have fallen prey to the myth that good writing has a formula. Yes, the essay I have been asked to critique is written well. Fuck yes, I’d love to have written it. Beautiful flow. Clear and concise with the perfect balance of he said, she said, and I read it to mean these things here. I stopped myself on page 15 of my reading for I noticed myself examining the paragraph I finished reading to unlock its charm. I intended to imprint fashion in my mind so that I could reproduce that quality in my own work. The ideal paragraph. So into the margin I wrote a note to myself, a warning. Alia, you must not! Writing is completely about the adaptation of a complex idea in a clear format that carries the argument. Because each argument is different, unique and nuanced then the format should reflect it.

And so I continue reading, careful to keep myself intact. Damn this grad student for writing such a well written piece together. How I envy.

Why am I compelled to write?… Because the world I create in the writing compensates for what the real world does not give me. By writing I put order in the world, give it a handle so I can grasp it. I write because life does not appease my appetites and anger… To become more intimate with myself and you. To discover myself, to preserve myself, to make myself, to achieve self-autonomy. To dispell the myths that I am a mad prophet or a poor suffering soul. To convince myself that I am worthy and that what I have to say is not a pile of shit… Finally I write because I’m scared of writing, but I’m more scared of not writing.

Wild tongues can’t be tamed, they can only be cut out.

-Gloria Anzaldúa

Of Blacker Ink and Boredom

It is always when I must write about something that I want to be reading and writing about something else. During my breaks (which are notoriously many), ideas go to play with each other in my impatient mind. If I had control over what I was studying at this moment… What would I choose? Stupidly I picture titles and topics that are basic but proclaimed on my mental playground with great trumpeting and awe. Because… let’s face it… I’m awesome.

The sad truth is that I do choose what I am writing about. Teachers are so good to give me enough wiggle room that I can pick an intriguing topic. The sad part is that I know I will never be free of this impatience. This grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side (read: ink-is-blacker-on-the-other-essay-topic) thinking. Ug.

But there is another level of worry. As I ponder, I am struck by the already-been-doneness of my interests.

Really, Alia?! Really? You want to write about the rhetoric of feminism bashing? The rhetoric of hip hop? The rhetoric of dating? The rhetoric of identity? Come on. What could you bring to the table?

I hear professors I know and trust talk about some pretty bad, pretty uninspiring, pretty cookie cutter papers that they’ve had to read and edit. God forbid, I cause someone that kind of boredom! And I feel it is inevitable.

My paper for ECA hasn’t really been brushed up. It was so hard to write it in the first place. SO very emotional. The more I look at it, though, the more I am struck dumbfounded by its simplicity. So what? Who the fuck cares? gah.

Fret not, my loyal, supportive and always reading professors/friends! I am scared but when are we not? It can be channeled. And I recognize that more reading on any topic will unfold more refined and specific questions. However I post these words now so that I can invite you to comment from your personal experiences. I ask you how you deal?

Good Morning, Baltimore!

I’ve a million and one things to do today but this proclamation must be made. Last semester one of my Rhetoric professors suggested that students in his class should submit their final paper to the ECA (Eastern Communication Association) Undergrad poster session.

I did.

I was accepted.

SO exciting!

Anzaldua and I shall travel together to Baltimore in April to my very first academic conference. Albeit, I haven’t heard the most flattering things about academic conferences… excuses to shack up… bureaucratic… boreaucratic… anti intellectual in that the sharing of ideas and intent to hear those that others have is insincere… However I can’t help but feel all grown up now! Somebody important thought my ideas were worth talking about… or at least worth the glue to paste them to a poster and drag them to Baltimore.

Dear Academic World,

I will not let you down.

Regards,

Alia

Writing (on) my body

I’ve woken from little rest to work out this whole issue.
To tattoo or not to tattoo?
That is the question. Whether tis nobler to suffer the scoffs and snickers of judgmental people or to take arms (or upon one of them) against oppressive “good female norms” and by opposing change them?

(honestly when I write out stuff like that I wonder why people like me. C O R N Y. eh. I like it. So it stays.)

Ok no. I don’t feel like I will be cast out by my family and friends or even the professional community for getting the tattoo(s) that I think I want.  I trust that the design, placement and size are not offensive or even ugly… pretty sure I trust that.

What do I want? Based off of many of the reasons in one of my earlier posts, I want to be like the Ginkgo Tree, I have favored for over a year now a simple ginkgo leaf design. The exact layout hasn’t been forged yet. Either a design of one leaf or three leaves on a connected branch is desirable. Black and white. Not filled in.  Size is most likely to be two inches tall … maybe three. I think that is reasonable and attractive.

Placement is difficult. Ideally, there are symbolic parts of my body that at least I associate with productive and positive exchange with the world.

My wrist. Audio Adrenaline did that song “I want to be your hands” and the Beatles sang “I wanna hold your hand.” Remove the religious inclination of Audio A and then the romantic tone of the Beatles and you’ve ahem grasped a concept of connection in deed or communion with our hands. These are positive. I want my hands to do things for the world and I want them to hold the hands of others affirmingly.

Behind my ear. Especially after I review my close relationships, I realize how important listening is. Sometimes I think I am very good at it but most others I think that I fail. It isn’t like a mark behind my ear will alter this behavior because it’s visible to me… because it won’t be, but I would be taking a mental step to highlight a characteristic that I deem important, essential even to my impact on the world. Listening to someone’s words is also just as important as listening to situations be those interpersonal or global. It is like reading. Rhetorical critics read texts and that requires a silent mouth and a receptive ear. My silent mouth and my receptive ear.

Other placements haven’t fascinated me as much as these two so they are not really being considered. It is also very difficult to find a good location knowing that I want to eventually have a baby.

Now whether or not to do it. I told myself that there are a few things that I want that I will not accept others purchasing for me. I wanted my Yankee’s fitted because that purchase was an expression for me. Other things later in life that I am patiently waiting for. Then this tattoo. I feel and have felt for a year that this prospect is an attractive one to me that is an avenue of expression I have never explored before. Bold and different. Of course I am afraid of the consequences. Grandma Bellwood already threatened to disown me if I went through with it but I’m too wonderful a granddaughter for her to pull through on that. Grandpa makes fun of the old ladies at gyms who have tattoos that appear to be melting off of their aging bodies but I’m not sure that what my grandpa finds attractive in elderly women is of all that importance to me. No one in my family is an outright supporter of this action though most everyone I have asked seems to support me as I make this independent decision. Some of the people very close to me here in New York have reacted similarly. That’s what I guess was troubling me when I woke up this morning but now that I’ve organized all of this… I thank them for that resistance. This is my decision and I must make it with as little regard as possible for what friends want. To state the obvious because that’s what I’m really, really good at: My Body for the rest of my life. not theirs.
To tack on: My Philosophy of Religion professor accidentally did an excellent Colbert eyebrow raise in class. He is adorably awkward.

“Brilliance, strike me!”

St John the Baptist Church in Manhattan at 30^th St and 7^th Ave

“sitting. Waiting for inspiration. I walked Alana to her job interview. Our first time in Manhattan together. No worry about what this poor college student will do while she waits. I told myself I would do smart things. I brought a book. I brought an envelope to write on. Sad me. Forgot a pen. This is in blue highlighter. So I sit in the church just in front of the pews where the materially homeless sleep. Now. Brilliance, strike me! Be moved. Achieve momentary enlightenment. I feel expectant. I stop myself from mimicking profound. Those in front of me kneel in reverence. Behind me, they sleep in need- perhaps some of society’s best skeptics. I am in between and I feel nothing. So how? When you want to grow, to Be, to live in an alive way but you feel nothing – what do you do?1. work harder 2. wait longer”

My apartment

Rent is my all time favorite movie. The music and character development is wonderful. One of the most haunting lyrics for me is sung by Mark Cohen (my favorite) as he berets himself in search of the profound. He questions the why and the how of his passed year to discover his role. The song, magnificently entitled “Halloween,” is one of Mark’s shinning moments of character awakening. He is not only a passive character in the movie but too passively developed by the movie until here.

Check out the song and watch the scene (this is a Broadway clip – still Anthony Rapp and still movingly expressed). The haunting lyric from that song is simply this:

Why Are Entire Years Strewn
On The Cutting Room Floor Of Memory
When Single Frames From One Magic Night
Forever Flicker In Close-Up
On The 3D Imax Of My mind
That’s Poetic. That’s Pathetic.

For me it challenges the line. I have little confidence in recognizing the difference between the two. As often as possible I try to withhold damning judgment pertaining to art because I simply don’t know what is meaningful or profound and what isn’t.

Years from now when I look back on my writing, public and private, will I be proud of it? Or will I hide it because experience and education have taught me that my “personal expression” was only mimicry.

When one struggles for their voice – desperately in need of it to order the world around them – when is it appropriate (if ever) to force a realization? By “force” I suppose I mean making profundity happen. Finding meaning. Like mimicry. If I don’t really feel like going on a retreat or walking to a desolate place but associate higher thinking with these activities (because that’s what worked for others) then do I go ahead and jump on the band wagon?

The ideal form of inspiration is accidental. So frustratingly rare for me.

Mark opened his mouth and could decipher between the meaningful and the forced. I just wish I was Mark. At least I could pick out something that moved me from Rent – but honestly, how hard is that?